That time I won a photo shoot...

It was a pretty unspectacular day off in October. G20 was around the corner and Brisbane was hot, humid and riddled with art installations while simultaneously getting rid of the homeless through public transport bribery. I mowed my lawn and played ball with my dog and found a replica gun in my front yard.
Yeah, you read that right. I found a replica gun someone had meticulously placed underneath a conglomerate of old palm tree leaves in front of my house.

So...that was weird.

I called the police who took 45 minutes to collect what would later be described to me as a "plastic gun that may have been used in a robbery". In the mean time I guarded the thing, shooed everyone who even dared to look at it and wrote down every single car's number plate that traveled past my house suspiciously slowly. Kommissar Rex would have been proud of my efforts.

Once my innocent garden was cleared of plastic weapons, I re-entered the house to find out that I had won a professional photo shoot including hair and make up!

Let me tell you that in the dramedy that is "Astrid's life", things like these either don't happen or they happen under the strangest of circumstances and all at once. It's never simply "remember that day I found a plastic gun?". It's always a "remember how for approximately seven to eight weeks my life was extremely pleasant and boring and then on the one day I found a replica weapon in front of my house I also won a $ 800 photoshoot"

I entered a facebook competition by super hip Sunshine Coast based photo studio and creative space "Studio Republic". The studio was planning on putting together a calender to showcase their individuality and versatility and wanted to get as many different faces and bods in to fill the pages. There were two reasons I entered. Firstly, they didn't want photos of the entrants. I found that extremely awesome. Secondly, the entry form contained a section in which I could proof some creative writing skills. I like creative writing, so there's that.

My brief for the shoot was pretty straight forward: shoot is in two weeks, develop three different looks, shave your body if you want to and bring your own clothes to the shoot.

"Behind the scenes"

The two weeks leading up to the shoot, I did zero exercise after vowing that I would have thunderous thighs without dents or marks for the shoot (I am all about achievable goals, people). I worked constantly so had about 20 minutes to develop my looks, which in retrospect annoys me because now I am brimming with better ideas.
I still pulled off a fabulous leotard for one of the looks so suck on that. (referring to myself)

Here is an excerpt from my "photoshoot inspo" - titled pinterest board:

is it evident that I got distracted looking for Beyonce in lingerie photos half way through my "inspo" search?

Most of my initial ideas fell through because of delayed shipping (I had ordered a one piece basically identical to that floral one above and it arrived a day after the shoot) or because I simply could not find what I wanted in the short amount of time. I am a perfectionist and as the date crept up further, I knew I couldn't pull something off I absolutely loved. So I decided to take it easy, enjoy the ride and get a bit weird.

I've always wanted to take part in a pin-up shoot so my first look was an easy one to pick. As I mentioned above I originally planned to recreate that dramatic Martini glass photo from Beyonce's "Why don't you love me" video, but my outfit didn't work out so I had to improvise.

This is boring. Anyway.


The day of the shoot, I tried on and split a dress on the ass on set. I still wore it for my second look. To everyone I booty-flashed: You're welcome! It was the week after Kim K's "Break the internet" oily butt photo for Paper magazine, so I decided I would make a version of that photo, only with more clothes, less oil and on a budget with a humorous twist.

This was fun. My favorite part of the photo are my shoes.

Lastly, I chose to go with dark make-up and black lips to accompany my Black Milk bodysuit. I loved so many shots my photographer took of this look, and for some inexplicable reason I chose the one that has me posing identically to the first look.

 Slow clapping for myself right now. Still a pretty awesome photo!

Once I posted behind the scene photos on instagram, I received some questions from my friends and family. 

Did you enjoy being in front of the camera? Hell yes. I love attention. It's the best thing. And I really enjoyed posing once I hit that third look. It's unfortunate it took me pretty much two hours to warm up and give off some facial expressions. But yes, I loved arching my back until I lost balance, I loved giving my photographer looks she didn't suggest and her digging it and shooting away. Most of all I enjoyed the experience. It's a cool day to think back to and a fun story to tell.

Do you love your photos? I didn't have enough time to carve out any of these looks, so I can't say I will get these printed off and will wallpaper my house with them. My face is pretty boring in photos because I don't like showing my teeth, I still feel a tad ridiculous taking selfies and I sure as hell don't have the pseudo-instagram model poses down (YET!). There are a million and one things I don't love about the way I look and my insecurities definitely took the better of me when I chose the final images. Once we finished shooting I had a few minutes to relax before being shown the forty or so images the team picked. Looking at some of the less flattering photos, I went from feeling like I had walked a sassy Zimmermann runway to that time the school doctor pinched my triceps with one of those "body fat" measuring tongs and said "you're still at a healthy weight. For now." It was hard coming down from such a high to the harsh reality that, with all the work I have done over the years, I still can't fully accept the way I look. So while I can't fault the Studio at all because the images are solid in execution and the whole experience was professional and so much fun, I would definitely approach choosing my images differently. I wish I could transfer my memories to your brains so you could see some of the movie star beauty close-ups and fun leotard yoga poses in high heels I did.

Would you do it again if you had to pay for it? Not at the moment. See above re: body issues. Have to work on that some more. Also - I am not a millionaire! If I was a millionaire I would book one every week. (For real)

Do you have tips for my photo shoot?  YES!!!! I'm glad you ask because I am an expert model now! 

Firstly, think about your looks and then go further and think about your poses. If you bring props, practice natural poses beforehand. I brought my Ukulele and ended up holding it so awkwardly we scrapped the idea altogether. Then a week later I played it drunk on the floor and a friend took the cutest photo of me and I went: "Why didn't I think of that at my shoot?" Which brings me to the next piece of advice, be horribly drunk. No, no that's just a joke (maybe). 

If you are providing your own clothing, opt for colorful fabrics and interesting textures. I think my pin-up inspired photo would have benefited from a head-to-toe pineapple-print! Who am I kidding, everyone always benefits from a good head-to-toe pineapple print! Make sure you can move in the clothing you choose so you can go crazy with your posing. If there is no music, play a song in your head to help you losen up. And the hardest but most important thing: relax your face. You know when someone tries to take a photo of you and can't find the right button to click and then your natural and gorgeous smile becomes all weird and forced looking and the corners of your mouth make a flapping motion? Yeah that! Don't do that! 

I know, I know. It's hard not to look like you have a botox-pouch for a face when partaking in something as ridiculously self absorbed as a photoshoot. So here's my secret remedy for that problem: I imagined I was the bitchy and slightly bored female protagonist in an early 2000's music video. It helped me a lot. Thanks J.Lo!

So there's that people! *drops imaginary mic and tap dances out the door* 

The end of year recap is HERE!

Twentyfourteen is over and I am pretty sure YOU are OVER reading recaps. But this post will help me remember some of the things I did in the last 365 days, which is essential due to the irregularity with which I have tended to the blog this year as well as the short term memory loss I acquired due to an overstuffed brain. And I know you're nosy so don't even pretend you're not interested in my life.

Also I meant to go to the beach today and awoke to typical Queenslandian torrential rain that is known to equally fuck up people's plans and hair dos, so here I go.

In 2014 I discovered that I am terrific at sports, so long as the activity of my choice does not involve continuous cardiovascular exercise. I started training for POWER LIFTING competitions and it was one of the most empowering things I have ever tackled. There were numerous moments in which I was transferred back to my primary school gym, mocked by teachers and fellow class members because I couldn't climb a rope or touch my nose to my heels because (quoting my obese teacher here) "the bacon belly was in the way" (For the record I hated bacon as a kid. Stupid hag.)
And here I was, dead lifting 100 kg and showing off to the hunks while observing one of my biggest insecurities, namely not being fit in conjunction with also not being skinny, partially melting away along with the skin layers on my hands. (Calluses are part of the game, deal with it soft hand advocates!)

I had the opportunity to beat personal bests and high five my trainer in the jockiest way possible and it felt good. My ass is tight, my thighs are huge and my hour glass shape is firmer than ever, so no I do not look like the Hulk but I'm going to say thanks for all the ignorant and sexist concerns for my womanly shape voiced to me this year because I am way too polite for my own good.

You may be asking yourself now if I competed and the answer is no. I love squatting 10 kg more than my body weight, but preparing for and competing itself is expensive and time consuming and along with a packed life, I couldn't fit it in. Which isn't to say it's not going to happen this year.

As for my PROFESSIONAL LIFE, it was another year of learning, of set backs and occasional despair but also progress and some great experiences. Funnily enough all I can remember in this very moment are the many super early morning flights and exhausting days ahead of those flights, but the truth is I have grown to handle it all. I am in control of it and I am in the process of cultivating a rich and worthwhile life outside of work. (A healthy work-life balance is hard to re-introduce once it's gone!) This year marks a milestone in a different way for me too. For the first time in my life I asked for a pay rise. I had built up so much frustration and insecurities about my ability that I was starting to feel desperate. At times I felt as though I was stuck on a bike in the lowest gear, kicking tirelessly without making progress but still ending up exhausted. Conclusively I learned that you won't get what you don't ask for (repeatedly... and persistently though), which is a mentality that so uncomfortably clashes with my modesty-focused upbringing. After months of contemplation, I sat down one afternoon and wrote about how valuable I was, what I had achieved and how my work matters. And the rest is history...

THERAPY was another first for me in 2014. Wow - you might think something along the lines of "too much information" right now, but I like to keep things real around here.
I felt more and more messed up as the year progressed due to crazy amounts of stress and guilt. I chose to move a 30 hr/$ 2500 flight away from my family and all my friends to end up being away from the person I live with here for 80 hrs every week. Something was bound to give. I knew crying in the car after work wouldn't be a sustainable de-stressing method ("You don't say.."). So I went to six therapy sessions. I sobbed non stop for the first two and felt hilariously ridiculous. I learned how to use emotional freedom technique (EFT) and discovered ways to cope with stress. My doctor pointed out behavioral patterns that weren't doing me any good, that I could clearly recognize in my parents or mentors. It was soothing to find out where the weird was coming from and empowering to make connections between my everyday actions and the preceding emotions that led to them. Although I had a lot of work ahead of me, I finally felt like someone had handed me the controls over my life. I was never the type of person to radiate happiness or positivity. I was a generally content but melancholic kid, a depressed teenager and am now a sarcastic adult with a tendency to workaholism. But for some reason I always thought I could wake up one day a personified ray of sunshine. The magic surrounding "naturally happy people" was extinguished as soon as I learned the mechanics behind my own. I had to counter act negative emotions with sterile techniques such as EFT and that in itself was in harsh contrast to my previous concept of happiness. But hey, it works. And it may just be the most valuable thing I have learned not only in 2014, but for life.

Moving on to less personal stuff!
Not a year goes by without me succumbing to my hunger for TRAVEL, so I went home to Austria with my partner in crime in July. I wrote about it here.
I also schemed a trip to Bali while being in Austria with my best friend and it was a marvel of an idea. I wrote about it here, here, here, here, here and here. During the latter trip to Indonesia I re-kindled my love for photography, something I have been passionate about my whole life but that has been put on the back burner for a while now. I am taking this a step further in the new year, having signed up for a basics course to really get to know my camera. I have a few more courses planned after that one too. Who am I kidding, I am secretly planning to work for NatGeo at some stage and become the highest paid photographer in history. But for starters my goal is to produce imagery that is as close to the vibrancy that my eyes absorb on a travel day.

There were some other interesting moments in 2014. I won a photo shoot at a quirky studio, with full hair and make up done by professionals absolutely for free and I loved it so much I considered starving for a few months and then trying to become a photo model.

Marlow has well and truly left adolescent behind and has become a dog so well-behaved and confident I sometimes wonder who the hell raised this once crazy puppy. I devote most of my spare time to him and he is the most loveable distraction there is.

I became and airline gold member and am now one of those people you see at the airport snobbishly line up in the priority boarding lane and secretly want to punch in the face. What can I say, I'll enjoy it while it lasts, peasants! :)

But enough about me. Here's a bit of appreciation for all of my lovely readers! Everyone who has stuck around the past year aka "The Dry Spell Era" deserves my fullest gratitude. To those people in my life who encourage me to write - thank you!  It means so much more than you will every know!
I'm ready to take this baby a step further.

Here's to an exciting 2015!


Bali Video Song: The Preatures - Is this how you feel?
Plane Video Song: The Shins - Young Pilgrims
I don't own these songs. Duh.

Stray puppies, brown water and a deluxe sunset - Bali Day 6

Remember how I said we wanted to go snorkeling? Well, we did on day 6 and it was fun but mostly scary and super underwhelming. I snorkeled through parts of the Great Barrier Reef before and quite frankly, underwater Bali looked like a wasteland in comparison.

We went to Nusa Dua and bought a tour off yet another business our trusty taksi driver Ketut had some sort of an affiliate deal with. We then got shoved on a boat with a guy that spoke no English whatsoever and since none of us spoke Indonesian, we barely made do with sign language.

The surf was insane, there were waves breaking around us like it was dooms day and we were passing boats so closely I could have reached out to them with my hand. Surely we weren't going to jump into the water with the waves this high, surrounded by commercial and tourist boats, speed boats and other potentially dangerous crap? I was used to an idyllic, calm and clear sea in proximity to an island in the Whitsundays as a snorkeling background, not pure chaos. Well, I was wrong.

We stopped amidst an array of tourist boats and were told to get started, when we could barely stand on the boat. Ah well...what am I supposed to say, it's Asia, safety standards are different. So we put on our gear and jumped into possibly one of the dirtiest parts of the Bali sea to feed the few fish that were cruising below the surface. No three eyed mutations or sharks were spotted, but a shitload of plastic bags to make up for the lack of marine life. The waves carried us away from the boat so fast we had to peek out every 30 seconds and swallowed a shit ton of the brown brew that was the ocean water. Needless to say we all felt a bit sad after that experience.

The "tour" included a glass bottom boat ride and here is some well meant advice - if you have to pay a surcharge for the glass bottom boat, don't worry about it. All you see is water splashing against the bottom of your boat. Also if you go with a dodgy tour the glass bottom might be just as sloppy a DIY job as the one in our boat. There was black silicone poorly applied around the edges of the glass plate and water slowly filtered through into our boat. So bad. So bad. But it still makes for good stories to tell.
We did get to steer the boat though which was fun.


Now there is a turtle conservatory called "Turtle Island" and if sadness needed a place to stay, this is where it would go. To be clearer: Don't go there! If it is anything it is a tourist trap and nothing like a conservatory. We didn't even sign up to go there upon booking our tour, we explicitly said we didn't want to go there as we read about the mistreatment of animals in advance but language barriers (and likely the intention to scam us) lead us to this place anyway.

You are asked to give a donation that supposedly goes towards conservation efforts. Then you are shown dozens of turtles all crammed into tiled pools (!) and they are being picked up and shoved in your hands. We all repeatedly told our obnoxious guide to leave the animals be and refused to hold them. A little further in there is a tiny rock pool with no shade that harbors at least fifty large turtles. The water stinks, it's luke warm...it's simply a horrible, horrible place. Our guide then showed us other animals such as toucans and eagles, all clipped and chained to poles and constantly being handled. One toucan was locked away in a cage completely full with dirt and our guide told us he had not been taken out once for the past seven years, as he started attacking tourists and zoo keepers. That's when we lost our shit and started interrogating the crap out of this guy. There was a python with its mouth sticky taped shut, for crying out loud. The guide assured us there were six other pythons and they would only showcase each snake once per week. When we requested to see the other six snakes, he said they were sleeping in wooden boxes in the closed off part. He then pointed towards the public toilets, which ultimately gave away that there is no closed off area and only one abused python. Then they had baby monkeys inside a cage in bright sunlight and when we asked where the parents were, he said they don't take the large monkeys because tourists only want to see the babies. When they get too big they supposedly put them back into the jungle and take new babies.
We got the hell out of there as soon as possible and I still hate myself for going in instead of simply refusing to enter this place.
 

One super awesome lady on Turtle Island looked after these stray puppies. She was a ray of light in this bleak place. When she fed the puppies they all started attacking and intimidating each other like tiny wolves. Then, after finishing lunch, they snuggled up again.

We went back to our hotel and got into a mini argument with Ketut as he refused to understand that we didn't need him to take us anywhere else that afternoon. He threw all these names of tourist attractions at us and repeatedly yelled "temple, I take you to temple!!!!" but he finally caved after the two-hundredth "no thank you" and took off into afternoon traffic. Haha, ah man. Culture shock for sure.

For the rest of the day we worked on our tans, philosophized about life and tried not to laugh at all the Scouse people with their hilarious accents at our hostel. (ahh I am just kidding, I love all my Scousers)

And then we went to Kuta beach to watch the sunset and it was incredible: