April 11th: Heelbilly. No. Them's just jokes.

As of recent I have noticed that I am a grandma. Not literally, but in a sense that I am very much living the life of an old lady. My body can't handle alcohol anymore, nor can it deal with late nights in a sensible, non-psychopathic ' I am screaming at you and at the same time my ears hurt because I am totally noise interolant today'- way.

As a young cunt I was able to party hard and when I was travelling I would last days without any food or healthy drink and still would  be up at 7 for a fucking volcano hike the next morning.
That was only 2 years ago so my question is: WHAT HAPPENED?

What happen to you, good old body? We used to be friends and have a lot of fun, now all you want to do is eat and sleep. What can I do to change your mind?
X and love.
Your tenant.

On a side note, found this online store and went on a rampage. Then closed the browser...of course. Remember, I'm lower middle class!
Anyway, this is what was in my shopping cart:

fake croc phantom bag. because it's a classic and looks like a million dollars

I'll probably get this. It's naaaaaaaice. Winter is almost here!!!

I like the colours on this scarf. Would pair it with denim, a white button up shirt and some heeled suede boots

the floating heel, ladies and gentleman! As seen in one of the thousands of desinger collections I look at every day and whose names I always forget.

the ankle strap. loving it. Like the Jeffrey Campbell x Wildfox ones. Just a little less crazy.

they remind me of marshmallows and hippopotamus(es?)

this is the perfect 'I'm a rich girl trying to look like a hobo'-coat. I want one. It'll trick potential thiefs into thinking I either have lots or no money so they end up confused, leave me alone and target people with wardrobes that scream 'Rich cunt' (see post below). Like say you're a thief and you see someone with this bag, don't even bother being discreet. Just grab the mutherfucker and run. You will have an average person's yearly income in your filthy, thiefing hands. Run, Forest, run!

I liked this when I first looked at it but the black stockings are really putting me off now. Boo. Nothing worse than black stockings paired with a white dress.

So turns out not having Easter off results in a pretty good pay and I know how I will invest it: Cotton On!
They have some pretty amazing stuff. And of course all the winter boots are coming into work this week so will be digging into that shit too....I'm hopeless....


Alright, this is me for today. I will now actively recover from 'The Hunger Games' and try not to curl up and cry. Kids slaughtering kids. I can't get my head around it. What twisted mind creates a story like that?

Oh...
nooo...
 getting...toooo....tiiireeeed!!! Good night!