Fuck your shit up

Dude, I know exactly how you feel. Let me snuggle up next to you!

A very disappointing day

1) I dropped an egg on the floor. Well, it wasn't really me. It was more of an egg-suicide. Or egg-KIA. I put it on the kitchen bench and it sort of rolled down on the floor in that special egg-rollling way. back-forth-back-forth - wobble. It was free range. That's probably why it felt the need to escape my belly. Too bad I ate its cousin.
2) I didn't  go to the gym. I attempted to recreate my pump class at home, but failed after 40 lousily executed squats. At pump class it's usually 250 squats (not to mention the thousands of evil lunges!!!). That was my work out for today. Booo.
3) The minute I got off the bus on this muggy, hot Australian summer day it started pouring down. I had my golden hair ghd straightened to the max. When I finally got to work I looked like this guy:

4) I got to work. I cannot put the disappointment and frustration I am feeling at the moment into words. Note to myself: If your employer promises you things, always - ALWAYS - get it in writing. My balls got cut off today. Humiliation deluxe!! Not all hope is gone yet though. I was told I will have a promising chat when my actual boss returns on Wednesday. Until then my body will be host of several severe emotional and physical outbursts such as crying hysterically in public, yelling at my gym trainer (if I ever make it there again), poisoning other people's environment with my mood and body odour and lots and lots of verbal vomitting.
5) I went home from work at 9:30 pm on this lovely Friday night and realised I must be the fattest girl in whole Brisbane. Where did all these long legged gazelle-like females with perfect skin and thick eyelashes come from? And where they here last year already? Why didn't I see any? (Ok, maybe it's cause I worked in a suburbian mall where all the old and fat people made me feel outstandingly attractive - But seriously? How do people have time to work out what looks like 6 hrs/day and still afford to live, breathe and eat healthy. Not to mention the new outfits and the cocaine....It puzzles me. They must be vampires.


ENOUGH! Love me a good ol' whinge parade sometimes though.
Now listen to this shit: