Sunburn, massages, pastries - BALI DAY 2

After all the craziness of day one, I was keen to explore my surroundings the morning after. I waited patiently for the breakfast buffet to open (jet lag had me dancing in my room at 4 am) and while I expected a good assortment of  food, the kitchen completely blew me away. (horrible phone photos to follow, as I wasn't keen on bringing my DSLR and also felt slightly embarrassed photographing food)

I fucking love food.

I think about food 24/7 and the breakfast buffet is the thing I get most excited about when I book a hotel. A crappy buffet means a crappy stay - the two are intertwined so strongly even the softest bed or bubbliest spa bath cannot make up if there is a lack of pastry or cheese varieties to fill my belly with in the morning.

You can see in the photo that there was an actual kitchen in the middle of the buffet and you could choose from hot dishes such as Asian stews or rice dishes, your English breakfast classics, the extensive pastry bar, fresh fruit, cereal, more than ten different cheeses (!!!), cold cuts, freshly squeezed juices, the list goes on. On top of that they had an infused water bar (I know!), waffle and pancake bar, an egg bar and an ice cream wagon. And yeah, it's cool to have ice cream for breakfast. You're on holidays!

So after eating probably more than an average Indonesian woman would eat in a week, I made my way out of the hotel, onto the streets of Seminyak, equipped with a crappy hotel map, my DSLR, a backpack and a water bottle.

Let's do this!

If there is one thing you need to do while in Bali it's pampering! Well, yeah surfing too, but I don't do the ocean or sports that involve boards. So pampering it was!
There is a Spa on every street corner and the prices vary greatly - I personally think it is worth spending a little bit more in exchange for fresh sheets and towels, disinfected manicuring tools and quality treatments - but basically you can get an one hour massage from $ 5. Yeah, five, you read that right.

I did a bit of research in advance and found Bali Body Works, a well established Spa that received raving reviews online. September is off season so I figured an appointment wouldn't be necessary but boy was I wrong. I was there just after they opened their doors and the earlierst appointment I could get was 1 pm for a manicure, pedicure and an hour long massage - so make sure you book!

photo via balibodyworks

 I used my spare time exploring Seminyak and bits of Kuta. I quickly made peace with the fact that you cannot take more than two steps without being greeted or exposed to general cat calling. As much as I hate cat calling and believe it is sexual harassment, I remained polite since I figured it was part of the culture. A culture I was lucky enough to experience and would not force my believes on. Another thing I had to get used to was the constant honking of the cab drivers. You'll find yourself looking around at first, thinking you've done something wrong, but really beeping is just a way for a cabbie to ask if you want a ride. On a positive note though, it never takes longer than 90 seconds to haul a taxi! Now: photo overload.

volcanic sand

the locals ensured that they do not in fact cut cats' tails, they just seem to be born with shorter ones

Of course I couldn't help but spend a bit of money along the way and I definitely think Seminyak is the best place to buy cute and quirky, but also pricey clothes and home wares. There is a real Melbournian vibe going on in these boutiques (the service is almost as bad too!) and a lot of the brands and clothes are similar to what you can find in Melbourne's St Kilda or Brisbane's West End. I have become a much more conscious consumer and instead of going wild, I spent a bit more (and "a bit more in Bali translates to $ 45) on only one item - a pair of Vintage Levis cut offs. Seeing as I was struggling with the humidity and those UV rays, I also went to Seminyak square's flea market to buy some looser fitting clothes. I ended up with three jumpsuits I paid $ 50 for, a price I found out later was FAR too high but which I was happy to pay because the lady who sold them to me complimented my body shape so much I felt like Beyonce. She did end up touching my ass though and to this day I am not sure how I feel about that, but you know - different culture I guess. Still sexual harassment.

It finally hit one o'clock and I found myself lying on a massage table, wearing a weird cotton thong, ready to relax. What can I say, when I think of how good this massage was I still, six weeks later, get goose bumps on my arms. Traditional Balinese massage is a mix of rough and soothing with a lot of oil. You get to bathe in milky water with flower petals at the end of it. After that I felt like life was hazy and awesome and completely zoned out for my manicure and pedicure, watching the beautiful Indonesian women with their immaculate hair and make-up doing their work with so much precision and pride it was mesmerizing.

 By the time I got back to my hotel, stumbling through Seminyak, Kuta and Legian for hours, getting more and more lost, a little drowsy from the massage, a little tipsy from an afternoon beer, I found myself so sunburnt it was a miracle I wasn't covered in blisters. That's when I remembered I didn't apply sunscreen because I figured I would have to re-apply after my (what I assumed to be a) morning massage. Shit son.

That's one hell of a Dad sunburn if I've ever seen one

I was in so much pain that I ended up ordering more room service, lathering myself in aloe vera and reading the Dalai Lama's "The art of happiness" on my private balcony. I'm not gonna lie, secretly I loved getting a bit boozy and weird in my hotel room by myself. I think we sometimes forget how nice it is to be by ourselves, doing absolutely nothing.

BALI - The chaos and the beautiful

Stepping into the arrivals hall at Ngurah Rai airport filled me with enough excitement to fuel a passenger plane.
Imagine the noise level of a handful of luggage belts and a few dozen suitcase wheels transforming into the yells of a good hundred drivers, all battling to get to the very front, yelling out the misspelled names on their hotel signs. It was thrilling and so comfortably uncomfortable to yield through the masses of faces and signs, until I finally spotted my own misspelled name on one of them. I initially felt quite bad for my driver and wondered how long he must have been waiting for me, considering the four hours it took me to clear customs and immigration. 

Once outside the airport, two things instantly hit me: the beautiful, unfamiliar architecture and the polluted humidity. I couldn't stop looking around myself, twirling like a sweaty ballerina with big ass thighs and look at the to me unusual architecture, the attention to details, the offerings and the crazy yet somehow functioning traffic.

By the time we found the driver's car, I was all the more ready for a shower, a long walk to explore and some delicious Indonesian food for dinner but as so often, life got in the way of my plans. My driver's car decided to shit itself and he himself, only fifteen or sixteen years old, I swear, managed to ruin it even more through ferocious attempts of starting and restarting it. My lack of Indonesian and his lack of English inevitably turned the whole situation into a bit of a comical one and to be honest I didn't mind stepping straight into a bit of Balinese chaos.

Long story short we got underway about an hour later, the sun was setting and my first day in Bali ended with a hell of a reception at the Courtyard Marriot Hotel in Seminyak, including a million apologies from the hotel manager who didn't charge me for the airport transfer, the driver, the luggage boys, the staff at the screening point (yes they screen your luggage before you enter a fancy hotel OMG) and the beautiful man who brought me sweet cucumber infused tea, a steaming hot face towel and a Popsicle as I was checking in. I passed on the popsicle as, at that point, I was as dehydrated as a hungover camel in the Sahara and just looked forward to some complimentary aqua both in and around my mouth.

As it was dark already, I didn't get a good look at the hotel complex but let me tell you when I'm a 45 year old wealthy botoxed up lady of the West who has seen all and done all, this is where you will find me. In a luxury hotel. Eating all the foods from the breakfast buffet. Slurping away at cocktails from the pool bar, perving on twenty-somethings. Getting my boobs massaged (yes I had my boobs massaged this one time and it was weird but ok weird, the kind of weird you can tell your mom about over a glass of wine).

such a burnt touristy dork! embrace the dork!

My room was so exquisite I felt sad about not being able to share the glory that was my king sized bed, private balcony, raindrop shower and toilet that washes your butthole upon pressing a button. And then I realised I had 24 hr room service and could pig out at 11 pm eating shit on the bed, pee with the door open and leave all other basic manners at the door.
Then I went from wanting to share to wanting to hog and wondered if I was even going to leave this room or complex for the next two days (spoiler: I did, but I blame it on the urge to eat secondbreakfast without embarrassing myself at the hotel more than anything).

Seeing as it was late by the time I had checked in, 10 pm crept up quicker than expected and I made use of said room service, instantly a little intimidated by the exchange rate, but knowing that even if I ordered a lobster stuffed spatchcock, I would probably pay less than I would for a decent steak sandwich back home.

This was my $ 12 room service meal, including the fresh watermelon juice and a generous tip:

Nasi goreng. So simple, so satisfying.

I basically passed out after inhaling this meal so quickly I may as well have snorted it and slept like the personified version of sophistication. Proud I could afford this meaningless crap and over the top treatment. Proud I knew it was all meaningless. Exhausted and relaxed at the same time.

And then the next day, I went and explored and shopped in Seminyak, watched the surfers in Kuta and ate delicious street food in Legian. But more on that in my next post.

On the road again!

As mentioned in my previous post, I decided to go on a little adventure with one of my oldest and closest friends Babsi.
To celebrate her freshly bagged bachelor's degree, Babsi and one of her mates from Uni booked a six week adventure exploring South East Asia. So when I heard about it whilst getting drunk with her on my Austria holiday this year, I decided to join in the fun.

A photo documenting the afforementioned night of dranks. Many dranks.

Since I was short on time (and annual leave), I decided the easiest and most relaxing way for me would be to spend my entire time in one country, especially since Babsi and her friend planned day-long hikes and other amazing adventures I couldn't really accommodate this time around. I chose the beautiful Indonesian island Bali as my travel destination.
 
I hadn't traveled to a 'new' destination by myself for nearly four years and decided to book my flights so I'd arrive a few days prior to my friends. I figured it would give me time to enjoy some silly luxury I was able to afford being in a full time job (and living conservatively), as opposed to my friends who were on a tight budget. I also needed some down time from two hectic months, which were riddled with constant health issues. Lastly, I just really looked forward to exploring the place and simply being by myself in a different context, no work phone, no house that needs cleaning, no dog that serves as a distraction. Just me in a place I didn't know, in a country whose language I couldn't speak, with nothing but time on my hands.

RICH PEOPLE PRIVILEGES

I booked my flights with Virgin Australia and paid AUD 890 for my Economy return tickets. You can get flights to Denpasar Airport cheaper with budget airlines, but I have recently become a Gold member with Virgin and wanted to see what sort of perks came from it. Without wanting to sound like a privileged douchebag, it REALLY pays off to be a premium member of an airline loyalty program when traveling internationally. I mean, it's cool for domestic flights and all, but it makes the entire airport experience SO much more comfortable. That's what you pay for I guess...comfort!

The special treatment starts with priority check-in, an easy breezy process that also comes with the unexpected pleasure of a "priority" luggage tag and your being handed of an "express card" that you might not initially know what to do with. Once you float down the stairs to the departure gates at Brisbane International Airport, you realize the "express card" will get you access to priority screening and the express customs line. It's nice, guys. Very nice.
So once you have made it through all the usual annoyances that international travel entails with EASE, you will find yourself sipping free ginger beer in a partner airline lounge, waiting for your flight in a stress free, quiet environment with free Wifi that actually WORKS and so much delicious food you won't know what to do with yourself!

Extra leg room 

Be aware before packing your hand luggage that even though the Brisbane - Denpasar flight can be a whopping 7.5 hrs, there is ZERO entertainment on board. If you fly a lot domestically, you might even find yourself on the same tiny Boeing that has taken you up to Cairns the previous week.

Views. Bloody views!

If you've been reading my blog for a while you might know how I feel about rude people on planes, so believe me when I say staying polite on this one was a challenge. Thankfully I packed my gigantic earphones, a good book and had my smart phone full of silly games to keep me entertained and sane.

I keep my hand luggage light and here are only a few other things I packed:

• Water bottles - buy a couple at the airport kiosk once you've gone through security screening
• Moisturizers - for lips and hands
• Eye drops
• DSLR 
• A pen - to fill in your immigrations card.

Once landed, it took about 25 minutes to get from the plane to the arrival hall and what can I say people, make sure you LAYER so you can peel off some of your way too hot clothes as soon as you land, otherwise you might find yourself stuck in high waist jeans and a long sleeved shirt, absolutely drenched in sweat.

Clearing immigration and customs is quite the challenge in most places and Bali was no exception. I landed just after lunch time and it took me four hours to get through. If you're planning trip, expect long waiting periods and make sure to use the bathroom on the plane before landing, otherwise you will loose your place in line if you're by yourself. Stay calm even if you're tired, the immigration officers do what they can. The crowd waiting in line nearly started a riot when the officers had shift change and left the booths unattended for 5 minutes. It made me pretty sad to see people who were privileged enough to book a holiday to this beautiful place gesturing and swearing like little spoiled teenagers. Some people wouldn't recognise a good situation if you rubbed it in their face...

Anyway, back to the stats. You will need to buy an entrance visa, which costs IDR 450.000 or AUD 49. Have your change ready, you want to waste as little time as possible before your adventure starts.

And let me tell you it starts as soon as you walk into the arrival hall of Denpasar airport....