May 11, 2013


Here's the deal:
I don't really care too much about skin care. I don't take off my make up most nights, I don't have expensive lotions and potions emptying my bank account, I don't go for facials and I fail at clean eating. I am known for my wide palette of (sometimes alienating) facial expression when I converse, which means lines liNES LINES OMG. I like to squeeze and do all the things you're not supppsed to do with your face (scrubbing like crazy, cutting yourself with dangerous jewellery, squinting like a mole because I forgot my sunglasses).
But even I don't want to risk confusing my environment about wether that giant hole in the middle of my face is an enlarged pore or just a good old nostril.

So yeah, something remotely related to a beauty routine does in fact exist in my life. Reason enough to share it with all of you fancy little things.



Cosmetic brand "Lussh" can probably thank this product for their successful attempt of taking over the world. It's a creamy yet coarse paste you emulgate with a little water and gives you just the right amount of peeling while beeing a soothing, thorough cleanser. A bonus is obviously the smell of lavender. It actually has lavender flowers in it, which soothe any irritations but most of all make washing your face that little bit more fun (except for when you accidentally inhale one of the flowers. Not cool.)
It's something around $ 15 for a pot that lasts you around 2 months, but the product does have an expire date (no preservatives) of around 45 days. I have used it past its expire date and it was STILL GOOD! Throw away if it gets moldy though. Seriously. Don't try using it anyway.


Another "Lussh" product I love, but that might have to go into hibernation during winter is DARK ANGELS. It's a very coarse scrub that has charcoal in it, again a soothing element for yer skin. Yer yer. It's pretty full on so I tend to just use it once or twice a week but it is hands down the best scrub I have ever used. PS: It's amazing as a foot scrub too! And who doesn't like the bizarre mixture of ticklish weirdness and pleasant sensation when touching your own feet. They're so weird looking and sensitive. Astounding.


Masks are great because you can pretend to be a ghost simultaneously to deep cleaning your skin. Multi tasking the fun way!
Clay masks are my favourite, they pull all the barf out of my pores and then make them disappear altogether. They also highlight my wrinkles once dried on my face and I can do old lady voices and scare the shit out of husband.
There is a favourite Swisse brand I use called "Mila d'Opiz" that I can only get when I am overseas but I am sure there are good clay masks around this side of the Earth ball too.



It's silky, it's nourishing and comes in a handy dispenser bottle, not a pot in which you dip your grubby hands in and then breed all kinds of bacteria. It also has SPF which is pretty important if you happen to live in a country that harbours two gigantic ozone holes. Last but not least it is fast absorbent and lets me frivolously apply layers and layers of cake cake cake within the minute.


The hype is justified. I don't use foundation at all anymore outside of work or going out purposes. I can see this completely subsituting my moisturizer in summer, but at the moment I use a combination of Aveeno and BB cream, because otherwise I get flacky dry skin on my nose. AWWW.


This I use as my concealer and to make my eyes look less puffy on a day where I actually care if they are puffy or not. It's long lasting and easy. I also use it when I have been in the car for too long, with the air con on too warm and cosy music and I feel that only a bag of ice down my pants could wake me up. Anyone else ever get that?



Its common purpose are stretch mark and scar fading but damn, does it feel good on. It's like a smooth cloud of warm goodness caressing your skin, all while keeping you moisturized until you shower the next morning. (Yeah, it's that good). I prefer to use a lighter moisturizer in Summer but this is an absolutely amazing product to use in Winter.
I also love chasing the husband while I am all greased up because the sheer thought of oily anything on his skin makes him want to move to Alaska and be a professional speer fisherman and never see a hint of civilization again.


I don't have an extensive hair care routine. I just follow one rule and that is: Don't buy your shampoo and conditioner from anyone else than a hairdresser!
The general retail stuff is crap, with silicones and other nasties in it.
I wash every second day or every third if I had my regrowth done that week. I use dry shampoo (or talcum powder if I am skint) between washes.
And I use a heat protection spray before I blow dry and straighten the hell out of my split ends. That's it for the hair.

Et voilaaaaa - the lazy person's beauty routine. Simple. Cheap. Doesn't take up more than five minutes of your day so you can spend more time being a smart ass or writing yet another article on beauty routines.