May 27, 2013

Pursuit of happiness

I have just acquired Gala Darling's ebook "Love and Sequins" during her half price deal and am diving into it face first like it was a strawberry cheese cake. I am such a cynic sometimes and reading it felt hard at first, but I felt that the image I have of myself shouldn't be what's creating my first impression of the book. I should be creating that impression.

But anyway, as I am only a couple of pages into it I am still far from writing a review. But I can already tell that it's a very animating read seeing as I spent my day seriously thinking about the way I perceive myself and how I react to certain situations. Oh yeah, and of course I made a list of all the things that buzzed through my brain hole today. Because lists fake a sense of structure in an unstructured life and are generally very awesome:

1) It's just money
Paying for everyone's dinner on a night out, putting fuel in the company car, lending money to non-family members - I find it so hard! I am not a greedy person, I am actually quite generous, but I just love to save my pennies and be prepared for hard times. It can get quite overwhelming trying to budget or making a large purchase because I stress so hard about the possibility of being broke. And while I have never not been able to pay a bill in my life, I just fail to have faith in my ability to make ends meet. And then this happened...
When a customer came into one of my stores the other week she found that we sold an identical product for half the price she just paid for it at another store. When I said to her she can probably return it she simply said: "It's just money" and that was a major eye opener. And FYI, she wasn't someone who looked like she drove a Ferrari. Money can't rule your life, your whole existence. It's good if there's enough but that's already it. Don't stress about it, don't be an idiot and buy a yaught if you're on minimum wage either but just be content with what you have or work towards earning more. But stop believing that life would be better if only, ONLY you won the lotto next week.

2) Move for the sake of moving
I don't think I have to point out the benefits of exercising regularly. I can point out my personal benefit favourites for you though (thissss my blog after all):

-Destress: I feel a lot better in my brain cavity after I've done a workout. It's one of those rare moments where it's just me and my body and where my mind just has to shut down for a moment, because my muscles suck up all the juices. Any sucky bullshit that happened during the day gives me fuel for my workout and is fully processed and dealt with afterwards.

-Sensible eating:
It's pretty simple: I don't exercise, I eat crap. There is nothing to lose so why not munch away? After exercising my body craves good foods and water and this effect usually lasts for around two days. Just in time for the next hard workout. Easy peasy.

-I won't spend money on clothes because who knows what my body will look like in summer?

3) After work isn't just before work
Being on call 24/7 can easily overpower your life.  I feel that my approach to play and leisure needs some work. Word play right thurr. I have a hard time relaxing, I always need to tidy/read/watch something. Gala puts it into some pretty beautiful words when she says: "Most of us don't enjoy hanging out with ourselves". Background life needed.
This is a main point I want to work on and I think meditation will be the way to go.

I'll update you on my findings over the next weeks :)
For now enjoy these fairy lights in a glass (via galadarling's instagram)